One Month, One Summer, One Life

WordPress sent me an email a few days ago alerting me that it’s been officially one month since I launched this blog–and then proceeded to ask me if I wanted to spend whatever amount of money to get that BETTER experience LOL. Regardless though, I can’t help but feel happy that I’ve kept (at least in MY eyes) pretty consistent with this page. I personally love going back and looking at my older posts–even if they’re only a few days/weeks old. It’s so interesting to re-read them because you’re at such different mind spaces at the time they’re being written, and it’s like reassuring your past self: “you’re ok!!”

Recently also my coworker and I have been talking about time and how you can change so much in such little time! It’s crazy. And then I began realizing that summer is almost done for me (sad face) and school is coming (double sad face LOL). Where did the time go?! But, I’d be lying if I was saying that I’m not somewhat excited to go back to school; yeah, I get majorly stressed out and I’m gonna be leaving my home friends, but I’m also going to see my college friends whose faces I’ve been honestly missing so much as of recently. It’s one of my good friends’ 21st birthday just a week after school starts and it’s gonna be a good time, is all I can say haha.

But anyway, I guess this is just a reflection post because not much has changed drastically but at the same time, it has. I’ve recently made the decision to become vegetarian–Okja really hit me hard LOL and I had already been previously researching about vegetarian lifestyle; seeing as I already live on my own for a majority of the year, I decided that living a more sustainable, healthier, and just more self-fulfilling lifestyle is something that is so important to me and I’ve decided to make the jump. Wish me luck! It’s been almost two weeks now and it’s been okay! I think of all the things I’ll miss but it’s never been too bad 🙂 With the vegetarian lifestyle I’ve come to be a little more self-aware of my eating habits too, trying to be healthier (isn’t that what we all say hahah) and I do feel more energetic nowadays. Most importantly though, I think I’ve come to grow a little more self-loving now, remembering that it’s okay to do things for just me and not sacrificing my desires or something else. I feel like I’ve been struggling (trust me, STILL struggling) with balancing my own wants and needs with the wants and needs of my family, friends, etc. I would never say I am the most selfless person–if anything, I can be pretty selfish in my terms–but I know I do have a tendency to kind of just throw myself into the funk of things for the sake of others, often putting my own goals and beliefs to the side. (AKA I AM A MASSIVE PUSHOVER AND MY LIFE ASPIRATIONS SUFFER BECAUSE OF IT). But I’ve been reminding myself it’s okay to be selfish sometimes and pick yourself first; some people might not agree with that, but there’s honestly no set “balance” for me to achieve; it’s impossible to divide my attentions 50/50 to my own needs and the needs of the whole. And that’s okay!! Some days, I, myself, deserve my attentions and other days others deserve the attentions. I don’t know if I’m making sense honestly but ESSENTIALLY, I know now that my life is my own life to live, and as long as I am happy with the decisions I am making, I know I’m doing something right.

This has become an exceedingly long post LOL so I’ll stop now but thanks for sticking with me for a month so far! There’ll be more to come.

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